It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
