you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
I just found puke in my bra..
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It's hard to hold down the snapchat button for video while thrusting. Sorry if the cinematography wasn't Oscar-worthy.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
