we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
On a scale of 1 to shit show you were "i just pissed myself"
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
You peed on a flamingo?!?
Randomize
