We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
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