dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
