Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I can feel my moral fiber fraying.
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
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