I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
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