I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
