You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
Is 9am too early to be eating a mozzarella stick I found in my purse? Yeah didnt think so. The fact that it tastes like vomit is concerning but not importanta.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
