i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
how do I set my phone to only ring when I'm asleep when sex is certain?
The more I throw up, the more I am remembering exactly what I drank last night...in order.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Randomize
