If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
Just used water from the fish tank for the bong. Thank you fishy.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My life is just a trash fire of work and Japanese video games now
Randomize