i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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