It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
