I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize