You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I went shopping for a dress that was baptism and bar appropriate.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
