OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
Just invented taco cereal.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Places I vomited today: hotel bathroom, in the cab to the airport, airport bathroom, airport terminal trashcan, plane seat 18E, and the plans bathroom
Fun wedding?
Yes. Very.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize