We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
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