It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Just pee around me
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Randomize
