At least make sure they are 18
Why
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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