i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
