Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i put that paper plate back in your cabinet because i ate all the ketchup off and you can't even tell. you're welcome.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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