That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
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