i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
