Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
Randomize
