We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
This is classic penis vs brain.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
Randomize
