You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize