Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
That works. I won't care. I'll be a mermaid. Mermaids don't give a fuck.
Especially drunk mermaids.
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
