I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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