You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
Randomize
