If I die and they 'assume' it's natural causes, just go with it.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Just realized the fur coat I am wearing to the wedding is the one I had sex with the groom in
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
The adults are the big ones right?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize
