Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
