thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
