I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
It was either the harsh truths I was divulging or the liquor..... But either way, I made mom puke
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Randomize