Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Dude I thought this was going to suck, but moving back in with my dad is like being at a frat party every night only everyone is 40 years old.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Randomize