Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
She told me she loves her boyfreind while she was giving me head. He must be a nice guy
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
It looked like Halloween in bed... BECAUSE HE BIT MY PUSSY AND I BLED ALL OVER THE FUCKING PLACE. THEN HE FELL AND BROKE HIS TOE. AND THEN PASSED OUT WHEN HE SAW ALL OF THE BLOOD.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Fruitcakes are only good for throwing at neo Nazis.
Randomize