My room smells like vodka and shame
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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