Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Guy passed out in the lobby with a keychain sharpie hanging from his belt loop. 1 guest came in and wrote on him, then others saw and got in line. I'm not waking him up.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Randomize
