$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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