girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Randomize
