I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
... I threw up in the shower this morning
You were "I'm not drunk" drunk.
I was feeling sad so bedroom vodka seemed like the best solution at the time.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
how does that bad decision feel?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
Randomize
