Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
bitch so ugly she owes me an erection
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Setting up an obstacle course with ladders, hurdles, and a spring board to the pool. you down for drunk races through it later?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
