oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
