I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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