i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
