I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
