I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Randomize