It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
My wife googled 'purchase vibrator.' Not sure if I should be excited or offended.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
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