So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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