I'm pants shitting drunk right now
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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