By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize