Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
we made out on top of his cat.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
Randomize
