I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize