Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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