no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
