1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Randomize
