Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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