he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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